Why play in the playoffs when you can get yourself suspended and watch it on tv? Sure you could be there, playing the game of your life with your teammates (the 2nd seeded team in the West), or you could chillax in your hotel room, watch it on cable and order in. I mean, makes terrific sense right?!
Well, at least to Raja Bell.
Sigh. Raja Raja Raja.
But before anything else, I’d like to admit that I’m part of the mainstream, and I
hate dislike Kobe Bryant.
Yep, just like that Nike ad below says, I also dislike the reasons I do are also the same reasons he’s loved.
And so you’re Bell, assigned to defend one of the world’s deadliest basketball players. It’s your chance to make a difference, or suffer the fate or many a Kobe defender before you – become just another footnote in a Superstar’s history. What are you going to do?
But wait, before all that, let’s do a retro (insert retro music here).
Remember if you will – John Starks. See, this guy defended Michael Jordan and Reggie Miller. As such, aside from having meaningful oncourt discussions about their mothers and ancestry, he would get punched, kicked, poked in the eye, spat on, tripped, kneed, and what else.. oh yeah.. elbowed.
That’s right Raja my boy. Those guys don’t get 40 point games just like that. Sometimes they *gasp* bent some rules. Then if the physical abuse isn’t enough, Starks ends up in their posters too, to be hung on a bedroom wall so some kid will wake up to his image getting dunked on many years into his adolescent life.
But you know what? John took it. In fact, he gave it too. And I bet all my good looks that when some superstar checks their schedule for the Knicks, they’re thinking “I gotta work out cause John Starks is there”. Sure they’ll never admit it, but I’ll bet my good looks and a tub of spaghetti. And I make very good spaghetti. Trust me.
So anyway, where were we? Ah oh yeah. Bell. Like Bell pepper. Good for spaghetti. Ok, losing focus now. Yes it’s better to play than to watch from your hotel room.. and order spaghetti. With meatballs and green pepper. Gawd I’m hungry.
Who were we talking about? Raja who?