Come Back Chuck, Nate's Collectible Green Uniform, and Other Observations on All-Star Day 2

Am I the only one who wasn’t impressed by Dwight Howard’s dunk last year because he threw in the ball rather than dunked it? I mean there was elevation and drama and everything, but when you say dunk you should mean SLAM DUNK, right? I mean SLAM, HANG ON THE RIM (for show), SLAP ON THE BOARD FOR EMPHASIS (courting a T), AND COME DOWN WITH THE BOARD AND RIM STILL SHAKING FROM YOUR PRESENCE, SLAAAAAMMM DUNNNKKKK.

Ok anyway, here’s Nate Robinson’s performance, albeit I have a sneaking feeling it’s gonna get pulled out of Youtube anytime now, so enjoy it while it’s there:

and here’s Kenny ‘The Jet’ Smith, completely getting it wrong as he tried to predict the dunk contest results. I mean, we all know predictions are his opinion and therefore subject to error and all that, but talk about getting it completely upside down, man.

Some other observations:

  1. At the All-Stars, no voice is missed more than Charles Barkley. They paid homage to him a little bit by mentioning ‘the Russian judge’ when referring to how low the all – Phoenix judges scored a dunk. Charles invented that term and I love it. I catch myself using that term every so often when I come across a similar situation. Please get your sh*t together and come back, Chuck.
  2. Dwight’s dunk on the 12 foot rim looked too easy, even if it wasn’t. Pity.
  3. Nate’s green Knicks uniform and kicks are an absolute collectible whether he won the dunk contest or not. That thing will fetch a tidy sum if he ever decides to part with it one day. Both are rare, one of a kind and got its 15 minutes of fame and most importantly, possess the specific qualities collectors look for – they were random (meaning Nate thought of it just to counter Dwight’s ‘Superman’ thing, and not specifically just to sell a unique jersey), and as a result, they are not contrived like the Hardwood Classics, which give off an air of ‘we just made these so we can make money off of you suckers collectors. I bet if I had a copy made of Nate’s jersey right now it’d still sell hot even if it’s an obvious copy.
  4. Rudy Fernandez’s dunk from behind the backboard was impressive except he and Gasol took too long to execute it. Would’ve brought the house down if he had done it right the first few times though. Pity again.
  5. Cherryl Miller, when announcing the dunk winner, said that these were texted entries ‘from around the world’. Really? You mean we here in the Pinas could’ve worked that thing? Did we miss out on something here?
  6. Nate’s dunk stepping on Wilson Chandler is not only possibly a violation of the rules, it’s also very DANGEROUS on Chandler’s part, as it involves Nate jumping off the small of his back, which can easily cause injury. Looked like a scene from Jackass, really. The Knicks management must’ve been going crazy when they saw that.

And just for no reason at all other than to show a bunch of All Stars horsing around, here’s AI getting howled at for getting a haircut after 13 years:

At this very moment I’m getting ready to go to work and will therefore completely miss the All-Star game. Not even the wonders of internet streaming will save me, as our office firewall in its great wisdom blocks any of that stuff (along with your soul) and besides, is usually too slow to access anything other than email.

I’ll see you later losers.

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