Kobe ain't got nuthin. Against Kobe. Virtually.

Kobe ain't got nuthin. Against Kobe. Virtually.I got the idea to do something similar to Jeremy Clarkson‘s Top Gear episode wherein he tried to beat his time of 1 minute 41 seconds in Gran Turismo on the same track on the same car except in real life. Click to watch the Google Video kobe 81. Basically he drove a Acura NSX at Laguna Seca, and ended up with 1 minute 57 seconds, a far cry from the 1.41 he got in the game. Check the video out, I love how they even got the color of the car right. So anyway, Kobe makes 81 the other day against the hapless Raptors, and I got a-thinking: “What if I join the PBA, and score 81 points on my first try“? Realizing that this requires exercise and actual skill, I settled for the next best thing: Play Kobe on NBA Live 2005 on my PC, and try to do him over. So here we go: The idea of course is fairly simple. Give Kobe the ball. Shoot. So he shoots.

kobe 81

And shoots.

kobe 81

Shoots some more.

kobe 81

And more.

kobe 81

At some point in the 2nd quarter, I made him point guard so he’ll get the ball directly after an inbound. Naturally he shot even more.

kobe 81

And offered some defense too.

kobe 81

He’ll do that silly NBA Live dance when he’s fouled, where he waves his hands and shakes his head.

kobe 81

Then he’ll do freethrows.

kobe 81

And dunks.

kobe 81

And threes.

kobe 81

He’ll do crossovers.

kobe 81

He’ll get fouled.

kobe 81

He’ll just get up to dunk again.

kobe 81

Then Dance some more.

kobe 81

He’ll even shoot it while getting fouled.

kobe 81

His teammates unfortunately tried to get in the act. Here’s Kwame Brown with a (CPU controlled) offensive putback, so I couldn’t stop this anomaly from happening.

kobe 81

Smush Parker got fouled and shot a freethrow, one of three points Kobe didn’t score. What’s wrong with these guys? How hard can it be to GIVE.THE.BALL.TO.KOBE!? Anyway with 45 seconds left I thought I couldn’t make it, but the Raptors, just like the real thing, started to cooperate by fouling him so he could make up the difference at the freethrow line. Finally, read em and weep. 82 big ones.:

kobe 81

Yup, there’s the proof. Kobe ain’t got nuthin against my Virtual Kobe. Remember, my Virtual Kobe can get it done in 5 minute quarters compared to his regulation time – AND keep his teammates from scoring, which is really important. And as if to bolster that point, check out the Raptor’s stats:

kobe 81

Featuring (gasp) balanced double figure scores. I mean – what is it with these guys? Do they think basketball is a team sport or something?

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